This week beat me down, chewed me up, and unceremoniously spit me out. There's not one specific thing I can point to as far as why this week sucked so hard; it was just a lot of little things - the Chinese water torture of bullshit if you will - that when all added up left me feeling cranky, stabby and generally irritable all week.
So being home alone on Friday night, flopped on the couch, drinking an exquisite 2006 Gun Bun merlot and watching mindless TV with Psycho Kitty was the perfect end to an otherwise craptastic week. Until Valentine's Day.
It's not like I haven't seen the movie 50 times before. It's not like I don't know how the various storylines unfold and play out. Trust me. There is nothing about Valentine's Day that can surprise me at this point. But what did surprise me was my reaction to it.
I have made no secret about my feelings on Rom Coms: they are bullshit. Pure and utter bullshit. It's possible that I am just a wee bit cynical, but it's pretty apparent that none of what happens in Roms Coms happens in real life. Ever. But what if it did? What if for someone else, somewhere else, it could?
And that's when it hit me:
I want to be loved like life is a movie.
I want someone to jump the security line at the airport, creating havoc and stranding thousands of passengers until the security breach is rectified, just to chase me down and tell me: "Don't get on that plane. Don't leave."
I want someone to race across town in a mad frenzy, get caught in bumper-to-bumper gridlock, leave their car in the middle of the road, and finish the race on foot just to tell me that I'm "The One."
I want that big, crazy, show-stopping, heart-pounding, insane, spectacular moment when we finally kiss for the first time. (Fireworks optional of course. I have not lost all grip on reality.)
I freely admit to liking Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback and I think it's for this lyric as much as anything else:
So I'll be waiting for the real thing,
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting,
Will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
I've railed against the unreality of Rom Coms for a long time but the truth is, deep down, that ridiculous, love-soaked happy ending is exactly what I want.
Then again, it's been 7 or 8 months since I went out on a date. Maybe I should start with dinner first. You know, baby steps.