If you're looking for an inspirational New Year's post, go someplace else.  We're not selling inspiration Chez Rougie today.  Nope.  Today we're selling "Rougie's Top Five Tips on How Not To Throw a Party."

1. You can't count on Old Navy.  When I decided to host last year's New Year's Eve party in PJs and Pearls, it was because I had cute new PJs to show off, I wanted to be comfy and I needed the pearls to make it classy.  Well, this year Old Navy fucked me in the cute new PJs department so I spent way too much time yesterday stressing out about what to wear which totally defeated the purpose.    

2. If you're going to be drinking heavily, you're probably not going to be cooking.  As much as I love to cook, I couldn't commit to any sort of menu so with less than 24 hours to go I decided on serving White Castle sliders, pigs in the blanket, and McDonald's fries.  I didn't realize until I was setting up that none of that food could really be cooked and left sitting out. It's food that is best served piping hot from the oven (or in the case of the White Castle burgers, the microwave).  Not totally a problem unless you drink your weight in Baby Guinness and forget that you're supposed to be cooking.

3. If you go ghetto, stay ghetto.  I spent yesterday morning running around looking for pre-made pigs in the blanket because the only thing I wanted to make during the party was a cocktail.  After bitching about it on Twitter, I finally found them in my local Harris Teeter. 32 little piggies for $9.99 - AND THAT WAS ON SALE. Clearly they are made from expensive pigs. However, I decided to cook some spanikopita and an assortment of puff pastry hors d'oeuvres that have been sitting in my freezer for months first.  You know what got eaten? The 9 upscale pigs in the blanket from the puff pastry collection. You know what got chucked? A bunch of shit with spinach and sun dried tomatoes. Also? I still have 32 pigs in the blanket sitting in my freezer.

4. Fries don't reheat well.  About a hundred years ago I read an interview with Cynthia Rowley where she talked about serving McDonald's fries at a dinner party because let's face it, they make the best fries.  I've always wanted to copy the idea and yesterday seemed like the perfect opportunity.  I figured reheated McDonald's fries would still be leaps and bounds better than frozen Ore-Idas cooked fresh.  Besides: I knew we'd be eating them late at night and I wasn't going to be making McDonald's runs in the middle of my party.  So at 11:45am while I was out running errands, I stopped by McDonald's and ordered 7 large fries to go. I got home, plunked them in 2 roasting trays, and left them sitting out.  At 6:45, I cranked my oven to 450 and stuck a batch in.  They came out hot - but not crispy.  Then I tried to heat them in a pan on the stovetop to absorb the moisture (a trick that works well for soggy pizza crust). They came out hard and dry.  Nothing I did worked. And you know what really pisses me off?  First - I totally did not have one single solitary fry when I bought them i.e. when they were fresh and hot and crispy and delicious.  Second - I ate way too many gross fries in my reheating attempts.  Three - I threw most of them fries out this morning ($12.75 wasted). Four - my car still fucking smells like McDonald's more than 24 hours later.  PS. I totally have to give credit to Donna who had pointed out earlier in the day on Twitter that fries don't reheat well. Lesson learned.   

5. Feed your guests. Although I did pick up a bag of Funyons, the Girl Scout came bearing chips and sausage balls, and Lilsaej brought some chicken tenders from Hardees (which saved us in the biggest way) there was not nearly enough food because as I illustrated in #2, when you're drinking you're not cooking and last night, I was drinking. As a result, I don't think any of us had nearly enough food to absorb the quantities of alcohol consumed. Also? I now have a freezer full of White Castle and pigs in the blanket.     

Despite a few bumps, PJs and Pearls: The 2nd Edition was a lot of fun - can't you tell?

Pjs and Pearls.jpg

I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful New Year's Eve. 

May 2011 be full of The Awesome for all of you. At the very least may it not be full of pestilence, plague and/or stabbing.

4 Comments

it STILL sounds like the most fun party ever!

Happy new year my dear roughneck!! The party sounds like it was loads of fun, even with the leftover pigs n a blanket. Xoxo

No, I had no idea they wouldn't turn out well. I was expressing gleeful surprise that such a thing could be done and was hoping for good news so I could eat fries bought earlier in the day after my daughter goes to sleep.

And I'm totally inviting myself to your house next NYE. I will have PJs and Pearls and will happily make you homemade pigs in blankets for cheap.

Did you remember to eat some black-eyed peas on New Year's Day?

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