Riddle me this: what kind of asshole keeps something for decorative purposes behind closed doors?

Answer: this asshole.



Et Voila! I have a giant hole in my sink.

How does such a thing happen?

One: Most importantly, you have to be the kind of girl who can give herself a concussion AND set herself on fire in the span of 3 weeks. Seriously, this shit does not happen to normal people - only to those of us who are *special*

Two: You need to be an asshole OCD freak of nature asshole and imagine that on the rare occasion people come to your house, and on the rare occasion they use your bathroom, that they will actually open your medicine cabinet and judge examine the contents which means your medicine cabinet is ALWAYS perfectly organized just so and that beyond the essentials such as toothpaste, moisturizer and deodarant, you also have lovely jars of hand cream positioned just so for decorative purposes. BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.


See this lovely jar of lavender cream?   


It was a gift - maybe 7 years ago. I've never opened it and I still have it.  It's primary purpose has been decorative however, after the events of Wednesday morning, I am thinking of tossing it in my purse and using it as a weapon in case I get attacked because that 1/2 lb. jar of hand cream caused this 4 inch hole in my sink:


So do you remember when I re-did my bathroom over the summer? One of the upgrades was the installation of this awesome medicine cabinet above my sink:

8 New bathroom view 3.JPG

Inside the medicine cabinet are 2 adjustable shelves.  Each shelf is held in place by 4 little plastic tabs, like this one:


On Wednesday morning, as I happened to reach for something on the top shelf, ONE of the little plastic tabs came loose and fell out.  One.  This has happened before and it shouldn't be catastrophic because if one falls out, there are 3 other tabs to hold the shelf in place.  However, in the less than 8 seconds it took for me to grab the rogue plastic tab so I could jam it back into place, the entire shelf toppled and the contents crashed into the sink...including the 1/2 lb. jar of lavender cream which was merely there for decorative purposes and didn't actually serve a real function.

What are the odds of the shelf toppling?

Even more - what are the odds that the 1/2 lb. jar of lavender cream would BREAK MY SINK as opposed to the sink breaking the 1/2 lb. jar of lavender cream? WHAT ARE THE FREAKING ODDS?

This is just one of MANY reasons why I shouldn't don't have kids - because I'd probably break them.

Also - does this shit happen to ANYONE ELSE - or is it just me?


Ummm...I've never even pulled off something like that so now I'm terribly worried about your wellbeing and safety.

Girlfriend, I think you need a roommate. Just to make sure you don't hurt yourself.

Obviously a defective sink. I mean that would be MY explanation for it.

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