This week has been nothing but Bullshit. Seriously. 

* Rigged recipe contests? Bullshit.  If the ability to use a can opener trumps my culinary skills, then I don't want to play. Thanks Harmzie, Dad, Miss Mary and others who helped me see the light. Thanks also to Dad for calling me an Interloping Yankee Jew Bitch in a way that was actually *funny*

* Saying Bullshit in the middle of a presentation to ~ 30 or so coworkers? Why not.  Apparently my filter was off on Monday (probably due to the fact that I was up from 1am - 5am - more crap) and so mid-presentation I dropped a BS-bomb. Not exactly an F-bomb. But not exactly work appropriate either. I may have died right there on the spot.

* Mother Nature can kiss my ass and while she's at it, she better fucking adjust her lithium dosage because this weather? Bullshit.  Earlier this week it was in the 80s. THE EIGHTIES people. In late October. Our low one day was 73. That was the late October LOW.  Tonight? There's a freeze watch in effect.  I've been bouncing back and forth from A/C to heat and it's simply ridiculous and I'll probably get sick as a result. 

* Speaking of weather...Tornadoes? In North Carolina? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Hey - guess what Mr. Weatherman: I don't HAVE A TORNADO PLAN IN PLACE BECAUSE I DON'T LIVE IN KANSAS.  Tuesday and Wednesday my wee little town was buffeted by storms and at least one tornado did in actuality touch down.  I missed the excitement Tuesday night but I spent most of Wednesday night at home shitting my pants. Things only got worse when my chimney started to leak because REALLY OLD HOUSE? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?

* More weather side-effects: I'm being attacked by giant insects.  This spurt of warm weather has given rise to a bumper crop of giant wasps who are now seeking refuge in my warm and toasty house because they know that Mother Nature is a Bipolar Bitch who is going to kill their asses very, very soon. Lucky for me the wasps are slow and stupid and easy to kill. However: it's still a bullshitty pain in my ass. (although not a literal pain in my ass because unlike Amy Blam, I kill my wasps in full before I flush!) 

* Dating is bullshit. Period. I'm about 2 hot seconds from giving up.

* I am sick and tired of political coverage.  He's lied about his time in the armed forces. She loaned money to convicted criminals.  He's hired illegal immigrants.  She flies on private planes.  He has sex with monkeys.  She likes to watch. This is the best we have people? Really?  I will be grateful when the elections or over and we can go back to commercials that promote Nutella as being legitimately nutritious.

* You go trick-or-treating on Halloween. Halloween is on October 31st. Sometimes that's on a Friday. Sometimes it falls on a Tuesday.  Sometimes it falls on a Sunday and while that may be a giant inconvenient pain in the ass, it is what it is.  Anyone who encourages, supports or endorses trick-or-treating on ANY DAY OTHER THAN OCTOBER 31ST, is dead to me.

So yeah. I'm ranty today.  It's the direct result of the 18 metric tons of bullshit dumped in my lap this week.   What about you? Anything making you semi-apoplectic?

5 Comments

Trick-or-treating on any day other than October 31 is just panhandling. For candy.

I'm over politics too and I work in/near it. And halloween is October 31. Sunday. That's the day we dress up and eat more candy than I should.

You really make me laugh. All of it is well said. I was trying to imagine what would happen if I yelled out BULLSHIT the next time I knew someone was feeding me a line of it. Since I am a teacher, that will probably be first thing Monday morning. And I would probably be fired. And politics? Bastards.

Actually in my hometown, trick or treating is always the Friday before Halloween. I always liked this, because you always knew it was on a Friday and you always knew it was going to be at the same time. That way you could totally have your Halloween candy binge all weekend, with your friends.

I lice in Alabama. Lots of religious enthusiasts think most of us are going to he'll on a good day. But when Halloween falls on a Sunday. They get their panties all in a twist with all the moaning and snake handling.

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