Certain things stymie me. Chinese buffets for example. I simply don't understand them.

I also don't understand all you can eat sushi buffets.  I like to see my sushi made fresh by a qualified sushi chef.  Fake crab and graying avocado that have been sitting out under a sneeze guard all day gross me out.

Lindsay Lohan. Once upon a time she was cute and she was talented - so much so that she caught the eye of venerable director Robert Altman. Now is she a full blown drug-addled mess who's last movie went straight to video.

Justin Bieber and his mass domination of Twitter.  I mean - how does that happen? HOW?

But perhaps the thing that stymies me the most in this universe is bad bathroom etiquette.  It's been about 4 months since I've had to start getting up in the morning and start getting dressed and fight rush hour traffic into The Big City. Four months that I've spent the better part of my week in an office that I don't share with Psycho Kitty.  Four months that I've had to start using a public restroom on a regular basis.  And in four months, I have discovered this: SOME WOMEN ARE JUST PLAIN DISGUSTING.

I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own home, but for the love of Lysol Scrubbing Bubbles, can someone explain to me why there are people in this universe who DON'T FLUSH in public?

Ok. I get it. Every once in a while, a toilet breaks. And Lord knows I have been at a club where there is one miniature toilet, 4,732 drunk women, and by the time you go to pee the toilet is nothing more than a mountain of urine-soaked toilet paper and there is really nothing you can do.

But we are in an office building. A professional setting. During the day i.e. sober time. So what would posses someone to not fully flush?

I enjoy being surprised as much as the next girl but walking into a stall and seeing a GIANT TURD is not a surprise. It's just WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. 

Would you pee all over your seat at home and not wipe it up?

When it's that time of the month, do you leave little bright red streaks of your femninity smeared on the toilet seat? Do you? DO YOU?

And while we're on the subject, I get that you might be embarassed that I walked into the restroom and caught you in the middle of a major dump.  But running out of the stall and NOT WASHING YOUR HANDS grosses me out more than the fact that someone I don't know also poops. Guess what - WE ALL DO. It's a basic, human, bodily function.  Pooping is not gross. But not flushing your poop and not washing your hands after is flat out disgusting. 

There's a lot I love about being in an office again.  The camraderie. The intellectual stimulation. The many secret candy stashes are no longer such a secret.  But walking into a bathroom and being greeted by a piece of shit? That I could live without.

5 Comments

I swear it and I stand by this statement: Women, as a whole, are grosser than men in bathrooms.

Also unacceptable in the work bathroom? Talking to someone while you're both in the stalls. NOT the time to have a convo.

also not appropriate? talking on your cell on the bathroom! I don't care if it's public, private or whatever, call back.

Poor LiLo-she's such a mess. I just watched her on an episode of Double Exposure and was annoyed/disgusted by her the entire time.
And yes, talking on your mobile while you pee/poop in public? Horrible.

I don't see any of these problems in the men's room in my office. I can't remember EVER seeing someone leave the bathroom without washing their hands.

By the way, I recall reading about a study of public bathrooms. A scientist took samples from throughout bathrooms including the toilet and the place he found the highest concentration of fecal bacteria was... the doorknob on the way out.

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