It doesn't matter that this was in many ways, your choice.

It doesn't matter that you know this was the right decision.

It doesn't matter that you're both better off.

You see the words in black and white: "it is necessary to the health and happiness of both of the parties hereto that they live and continue to live separate and apart from each other..." and it crushes your soul.

It doesn't matter that you're moving on.

It doesn't matter that you have no regrets.

It doesn't matter that you have a lot more life still to live.

You see the words in black and white: "...that the bonds of matrimony be dissolved..." and it tears your heart into a thousand little pieces.

You wonder if you should have tried longer or fought harder.

You wonder why love wasn't enough.

You wonder what will happen next.

And then you let go. Unexpectedly one Tuesday morning driving. It hits you. With the force of a million pounds. And you let go and you grieve: for everything you shared and for everything you didn't. 

The tears spring from nowhere and seem to have no end.  Your body is racked with choking sobs. You almost have to pull over because you can't see or breathe.

You have avoided this. You have denied it. You have kept yourself busy so that you wouldn't have to face this. 

But eventually you have to face reality. And reality hurts more than you ever expected. 

It doesn't matter that this was in many ways, your choice.

It doesn't matter that you know this was the right decision.

It doesn't matter that you're both better off.

Your soul still aches. Your heart is still broken.

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