So for the longest time ever I was totally against crockpots. And then I was finally inspired by AndreAnna to get one and over the holidays I was at Wal-Mart and found one for $17 - an entire meal-providing crockpot for a mere $17. Seems like a much more logical purchase than a $595 t-shirt - doesn't it?  Anyways, I purchased the crockpot, made AndreAnna's It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses An Eye Chili, and thus the crockpot love AND my love of chili was born. Yup. Had never been much of a chili fan before. Mainly the whole bean thing.

Ok. So then. I hung with Lilsaej and her family over Christmas and on the way home from dinner Lilsaej and I were talking about chili and crockpots and somehow she mentioned a Buffalo Chicken Chili and I'm all: "Oooooohhh that sounds yummy" and she was all: "Yeah it totally is" and then I'm like:  "Where'd you get the recipe?" and she was like: "It's Rachael Ray" and then the conversation came to an abrupt halt I pushed Lilsaej out of the car into oncoming traffic because I ABHOR DETEST DESPISE CAN NOT STAND HATE LOATHE Rachael Ray with the heat of 10 gajillion fiery suns and 1 small nuclear meltdown. But because I love Lilsaej I darted into oncoming traffic and totally rescued her. Because I am awesome like that.

Anyways. I had to confess that the idea of Buffalo Chicken Chili sounded AWESOME even if the recipe came from a woman who turned us into a nation of EVOO-pouring, sammie-snacking, chowdah-slurping yum-o drones. So I decided to figure out how to make kick ass Buffalo Chicken Chili on my own because while even though I don't know that much about chili, I know a shitload about Buffalo wings.

Ok. So here's the part where you possibly totally hate me because I didn't really measure quantities (or take pictures) and the two times I've made it what's gone in the crockpot has depended on what's in my fridge and what's available at the store. Then again, this isn't an exact science and I think you should trust yourself as a clever, creative cook to get it right. 

The thing that's stayed the same both times? Ground chicken. You'll need 2 pounds of it.  I also suppose you could use ground turkey or a combination.

Next up? Onion.  Both times I've used about 3/4 of a large onion, chopped.  Yellow, white, red - whatever you prefer. Chop it up and add it to the pot.     

Carrots and celery are the most critical accessory to Buffalo wings and they make a grand appearance in this chili. I keep a bowl of baby carrots in my fridge at all times and I've just cut them up until I've had a nice layer in the pot.  If you were going out and buying carrots I'd say 2 - 3 well-sized carrots would do the trick.  As for the celery, I used about 4 or 5 ribs diced. It was definitely a substantial amount but I love celery. You can adjust the quantities to your taste. 

Chili isn't chili without peppers.  The first time I made this I diced half a green bell pepper and then 3 long yellow Italian frying peppers. Neither of these is particularly hot. The second time I used about half of a red bell pepper and a whole poblano. The poblano has a little heat but not much.  And then of course jalapenos.  I always use 2: 1 de-seeded and de ribbed and 1 with everything in it.  

Of course don't take this as gospel.  You should use what's available and what you like - just try to stick to the whole onion-pepper-carrot-celery theme and you can't go wrong. Also? Dice as you will. Sometimes I dice fine because I want everything to blend together. And sometimes I go for more of a rough chop. It all depends on my meds mood. 

Once this whole mess is in the crockpot add one 28-oz. can of crushed tomatoes. I actually get the roasted garlic flavored crushed tomatoes but plain ones will work fine.  I don't like my chili liquidy so I don't add any broth, but if there's some tomato stuck to the inside of the can, add some water (no more than halfway), swirl it around, and then add the tomato water to the pot.  Last but certainly not least, a healthy dose of Frank's Red Hot. And when I say healthy, I mean like 4 oz. Probably more.  And while there are 18 thousand hot sauces to choose from out there, it has to be Frank's which is the Buffaloiest.  On that point there is no other choice, no being creative.  Then cover, turn on high, and let the crockpot do its thing for about 2 hours, stirring 2 or 3 times.

After 2 hours, it's seasoning time.  I use a combination of garlic powder, celery salt, onion salt, sea salt, and a Southwest seasoning that has chili, cumin, garlic etc.  I'd say go for some traditional chili seasoning but try to add some extra celery salt or onion salt. I don't know. That tastes good to me. Do what feels right for you. Just don't be heavy handed with the cumin. Oh. And since the chicken probably isn't cooked, don't do too much tasting and adjusting. There's time for that at the end. 

Once again cover and leave on low for about 2 - 3 hours and go do a load of laundry or get your nails done. This, my friends, is the total joy of crockpots. 

Whenever you're done having a life, you'll have to thicken your chili. I tend to like mine on the thick side. You might like yours soupier.  Either way, this technique works for everyone. You're going to make a roux - which maybe sounds scary but really isn't.  You will need equal amounts of butter and flour so for every tablespoon of butter you use, you'll need a tablespoon of all-purpose flour. For soupier chili, use about 3 of each. For heartier chili, go up to 6 of each.  You will also need 1/2 to a full cup of cooking liquid from the chili pot.  Just scoop it out straight from the crockpot. If bits of meat or veggie are in there, don't fret.  I mean, you want mostly liquid but you don't need to strain it or anything.

In a saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter.  Once the butter is melted, add the flour and stir with a wooden spoon.  It should all come together very nicely, very quickly.  Then stir in the chili liquid and in less than a minute you will have something resembling Alpo. Add the chili roux back to the crockpot and stir it in well. You can even use a whisk.  Finally, cover for 1 final 2 -3 hour session on low. 

When the chili is done, you can adjust the seasoning and heat to taste.  This most recent time I needed a whole lot more salt and a whole lot more Frank's. Then again, I'm kind of sick right now and my taste buds are all out of whack. 

I like to serve mine in a bowl and top with blue cheese crumbles. It's quite tasty that way and the blue cheese melts and makes it all creamy and mellow. And let's face it, blue cheese is pretty much the other key accessory to Buffalo wings so it makes sense.  So yeah. Try it like that and tell me if you don't just want to eat the entire crockpot in one sitting because OMFG it's that good. 

Rachael who?