As a basic rule of thumb, I keep work out of my online life.  I think in the past I've mentioned that I am employed, and maybe that I am good at what I do (I totally am), and that I have an important sounding title that starts with Director of. And a week or so ago I mentioned on Twitter how my assistant showed me where the secret candy stash was and my friend the Investment Banker was all: You have an assistant? And I was like: not really. But kind of.

But mainly given that I work in a conservative industry in a conservative part of the world and given that I am prone to use less than ladylike language and because sometimes (more often than not) I am a stabby bitch on Twitter and also because I once suggested that I might be inclined to perform an ungodly amount of oral sex if a man gave me flowers (But not just flowers. 100 flowers. And not crappy flowers either. I know I said carnations were ok but I totally lied. I want the good stuff. Like calla lilies. And it can't just be 100 calla lilies because. It has to be 100 calla lilies because the man in question thought of me 100 times the night before. And really it can't just be any man. He's got to have Patrick Dempsey's hair, Daniel Craig's abs, and Warren Buffet's wallet. Wait. Now I sound greedy. I'll settle for 1 of the 3.) Well - you can see why I keep work on the work side of the Internet i.e. far the fuck away from Rougie. 

Anyways, the last few days have been sunny and warm and lovely and I was all set to go out and take a picture of the pretty purple wildflowers blooming in my yard and write a post about spring and sunshine and photosynthesis. And I was going to celebrate that Daylight Savings Time is almost over. Or it's almost beginning. I never remember which. All I know is that we spring forward this Saturday and anyone who bitches about losing an hour of sleep is no longer my friend because OMG 1) you totally got an extra hour in the fall and 2) HELLO long days and sunlight and warm weather and bye-bye seasonal affectation disorder and gloom and doom.  Anyways - I was all set to write a happy, sunny post welcoming in Spring and the Ides of March and all that crap except wait: Mother Nature is still epically pissed off at the world and it's fucking snowing. For serious. So yeah - I totally blame Mother Nature for fucking up my spring post and making me write about work.

So yeah. Work. All you really need to know (other than the whole conservative thing) is that for the last 2+ years I have had the luxury of working from home. In truth, I spend at least 90% of my time traveling so it's not like I am sitting around popping Bon-Bons all day but I am also not expected to be in an office all day, every day and that's kind of nice. What's also nice is not having to deal with rush hour traffic every day because Holy Hell - that shit makes me more-than-stabby.  

What's even nicer? I don't really have to wear pants. Yep - I am the living, breathing stereotype of someone who works from home in that unless it's utterly required, I probably won't get out of my robe and/or PJs.  If I do have to leave the house, you can be sure that it will be in the same dirty ass pair of holey leggings that I wear every day because OMG they are the most comfortable thing ever. And truth be told I do need to buy another pair but I really can't because Wal-Mart seems to have ditched the rack of $5 No Boundaries basic black and gray leggings and replaced it with some shiny, animal print leggings courtesy of Miley Cyrus and Max Azria and which are frankly DOWNRIGHT SCARY. And while I know I can get leggings elsewhere, I refuse to pay $25 for American Apparel leggings when Wal-Mart had them for $5 a pair a few months ago. And so yes. Because I am insane of my steadfast principles I continue to walk around in dirty, stinky, torn up leggings. Awesome.

Holy fuck where was I?

Oh yeah. Work. Pants.

So basically I either get to spend my days trekking across the Southeast and putting beaucoups of miles on my car (from 9800 Sept. 26th to over 20,000 on February 21st) or I don't have to wear pants. Until now.

After 2+ years of a lifestyle that has for a good long while worked very well for me, I have decided to go back to having an actual office. You know. With a door. And some windows. And a nameplate outside the door. And a phone. And office supplies. Only this office isn't attached to my kitchen.  It's about 50 miles away and requires not only that I get dressed - but that I kinda maybe sorta fight rush hour traffic on occasion. 

I am actually oddly excited about it. I mean - as much as I dread having to get dressed on a more consistent basis and deal with idiot drivers (Oh - and pooping in public. Really - not a big fan.), I am looking forward to being around people all day (not that I don't love and adore Psycho Kitty). And to the camaraderie. And to the 3pm visit to the snack machine (although my ass is in utter disagreement with me on this one). And to the fact that I have the world's best IT guy sitting 100 feet away which means every time something goes wrong (which is pretty much ALWAYS), someone is on instant hand to fix it. And to being close to the mall in civilization for more than a few hours at a time.

And the even better news is that I have only committed to 2 fulls days/week. For now. Which means the possibility for me to pretend that on occasion, I am Lady Gaga, still exists. 

4 Comments

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Was this your idea or theirs? And tell me again why driving 100 miles a day on overcrowded unsafe highways is a good thing? We tried that. David had a heart attack

Wow! That is quite a commute. I get stabby with my 7 mile commute. Of course it is all traffic and lights and idiot drivers.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this change of events.

Good luck with the pants thing!

I know what you mean about the leggings - as much as I love animal print (and yes, tiaras - ah the joy of working from home) it's a no go in shiny weird water proof looking fabric.

Stock the glove compartment with M&M's and assorted choccie bars for the commute - makes a person less stabby knowing chocolate is within arms reach. :-)

Won't it be confusing to remember which days you need to wear pants and which days not?

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