Please please please please do not ask me how I came to be in possession of 2 tickets to the Duke versus Maryland's men's basketball game this past Saturday. Please. Because if I tell you I'll have to kill you and I love you all so much and really I don't want you dead. Also? Prison is not really my thing. I'm just saying.

For those of you who are scratching your head right now, Duke men's basketball tickets virtually don't exist.  At least not for the rank and file.  Cameron Indoor Stadium is a wee little stadium and we like it that way just fine because getting all of that ginormous crazy spirit and squeezing it into such a tiny space - well that enhances it exponentially and makes it miserable for the opposing team and pretty much awesome for everyone else. There's a reason why they're called Cameron Crazies. Anyways: wee little stadium with over half of the seats going to students, half of the other half going to faculty and important people like the University president, and then the rest going to people willing to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars annually for the privelege of sitting in the rafters. Literally. So not much left for everyone else.

Anyways - let's just say that I got my tickets by being me which is to say utterly charming and adorable and not doing anything illegal or nefarious. And so it was that Lilsaej and I wound up at Duke on Saturday for my first basketball game in over a decade.

{Sidenote: I went to 3 games as a student. (i) Duke-UNC my freshman year which was also Grant Hill's last regular season game.  I did not camp out but I did get on line at 6am game day which was also the first day of Spring Break which is why residency in Krzyzewskiville was so low. (ii) Duke-Maryland my senior year and actually I did not sit in the student section but got tickets through a bartender in NY I was kind of *dating* who was friends with someone on the Duke coaching staff and the seats were like, right behind the president (read: awesome) and the bartender, who was actually a Terp, game down for the game. We kicked the shit out of Maryland and I never saw the bartender again (sigh of relief). (iii) Duke-Clemson my senior year which was also Senior Day which meant seniors got to walk right in and that night Trajan Langdon scored 34 points. It was awesome.}

First of all, check out the picture perfect postcard photo I snapped of a snowy Duke Chapel:

Hate Duke all you want but you can not - not for one minute - say anything bad about the campus. It's gorgeous.

Speaking of campus...Friday morning I was on the phone with Dr. Diva and I mentioned that I had to actually look up on a campus map where Cameron was because with a solid 10+years between me and graduation, I, um, didn't really remember. I felt her judgement withering stare over America's fastest 3G network and politely pointed out it had been a while and to cut me some damn slack. Also? I've been to Cameron THREE TIMES PRIOR. It's not like I was there every week.  Jeez.  And once I saw it on the map, it kind of made sense and I figured in a worst case scenario, we'd just follow the crowd and probably be fine.

So yeah, we found it. And our seats, while not dead center behind the president, were not up in the rafters either (phew because there's that whole fear of heights thing I have going on). All in all, no complaints:

Meanwhile, I had about 14,000 random thoughts throughout the day and I decided to jot them down:

* Despite spending 4 years at Duke, it's amazing how little I remember about it at least in terms of geography. {See also: it's been a full 12 years since I've graduated and things change}

* I could not, for the life of me, understand the cheers. I thought "Sweat Gary Sweat" was "Suck Gary Suck" which is kind of understandable but there were others. Seriously - Lilsaej had to translate for me.  And to Dr. Diva who asked me to pay attention to any of the new cheers, I say: I don't know the old ones.

* Students stand/jump/yell the entire time. It's exhausting. And possibly requires a sports bra. Now I remember why I didn't attend more games as a student. Also? Camping out wasn't really my thing back then. I don't know how much of my thing it is these days but it sounds appealing in theory. As long as there is wine.

* Seven foot one is tall. Seriously, seriously tall.

* Chik-Fil-A is awesome. It's awesomer with mayonnaise.

* Our band is evil.  And by evil I mean brilliant. During one play, Maryland had the ball and the shot clock was running low. While normally the out loud verbal count down from 10 is accurate, on this particular play the band shaved off 3 seconds so 10 was 7, 9 was 6, etc.  They got to 1 and the poor guy had 3 whole seconds left which he then wasted 1 and a half of by looking up at the shot clock and probably wondering why it wasn't buzzing. So yeah. Brilliantly evil. 

* I want to know how the kid who walks around shadowing Mike Krzyzewski gets that job. And is it as boring as it seems.

* I also wonder about the kids whose job it is to mop up the water/sweat spots on the floor after timeouts or someone falls. Also? What's the career path for that? What comes after wiping up Brian Zoubek's sweat off the floor?

* Speaking of Brian Zoubek, I take back anything bad I've ever said about the kid. He's actually not a waste of really good height genetics and can actually play some very good basketball. His hairstylist, on the other hand, probably needs to be shot.

* JJ Reddick was in attendance. In fact former players, coaches and staff from the 1940s through the current year were on hand to celebrate Duke's basketball history and also honor Coach K who was coaching his 1000th game at Duke. But they were mainly old and I didn't really care. JJ Reddick however, is still very much deliciously dreamy. His trashy looking lady friend on the other hand gave me some cause for concern.  I hope it was a cousin or someone who won a contest or something and not an actual date because then oh dear me.

* Maryland spent at least 5+ minutes of warm up doing some kind of totally coordinated interpretive dance meets tai chi routine. The players people. The players. It's probably why they got their ass handed to them we won.

* One other possible reason for our decisive victory: Maryland players sat on stools during timeouts. I don't know - seems kind of lazy.

* It's a good thing Gary Williams coaches at a school whose colors are red and it doesn't really matter seeing as his face is a perpetual shade of scarlet. Also? It's fun watching his head almost explode. The man is like apoplexy come to life.

* Our cheerleaders are basically the color of milktoast. Which: yay you for discovering sunscreen and not getting skin cancer. But I don't know - ever hear of self-tanner?

* By far the best part of the game was the older gentleman sitting in front of me and Lilsaej. He was well dressed in khakis and a sport coat and he had very distinguished looking silver hair.  He was the epitome of polish and class. He also stood up and shouted, cheered, and/or danced his ass off for most of the game. It was nothing short of awesome and I think Lilsaej and I both wanted to hug him by the end of the rout the game.

It was a pretty fabulous day and I've already decided that I'll have to either make a lot more money so I can become a season ticket holder (less likely) or simply continue to be utterly adorable and charming so I can score some more tickets (more likely). Also? Next time I go I'll totally remember where Cameron is.