So...it's not like I am shy or anything. And it's not like I have a hard time confessing things I shouldn't be confessing or sharing some of my personal struggles with you. I mean - I am a pretty open person and I don't think one should be embarrassed by too many things and I have a tendency to want to invite people into my life anyways and well...umm...you see...the thing kind of is...well...I don't really...ermmm....I...so...

FINE. I LIKE TOBY KEITH. THERE. I CAME OUT AND ADMITTED IT. OK? DON'T BE SO FUCKING JUDGY.

You know what's even worse?

I don't even really like the boot-stomping, ass-shaking, hee-hawing songs that one would expect from one of the biggest redneck country male stars out there. Because, like, that would be too...logical. Nope. I go for the FUCKING BALLADS. WTF me? And OMG this is the most embarrassing thing EVER to share because...ACK. Toby Keith. Schmaltzy ballads. I GET EFFING TEARY.  AND ALL OF YOU ARE JUDGING ME FOR IT BECAUSE HOW CAN YOU NOT? I MEAN - I AM JUDGING MYSELF HERE PEOPLE. FUCKING TOBY KEITH BALLADS MAKE ME WEEPY. 

And what did I do? I just downloaded, like, FIVE MORE BECAUSE APPARENTLY I AM SOME KIND OF GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT OR NEED TO ADJUST MY MEDS OR PERHAPS I AM JUST A SENITMAL, SAPPY SCHMUCK.

Really. I have no suspension of disbelief when it comes to love stories starring impossibly good looking men but give me a love song about broken hearts, unrequited love and/or love gone wrong (and occasionally death) and OMG I HAVE TO PULL OFF TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE THROUGH THE TEARS. It's like, every Toby Keith song on my iPod is ABOUT ME. Except the one about the preacher's daughter on a motorcycle because 1) my dad isn't a preacher and 2) I don't ride motorcycles because the whole balancing on 2 wheels thing just seems utterly wrong. In fact this is why I don't ride bikes. Also? Because I am extraordinarily clumsy and the last time I rode a bike I missed a turn, rode of the edge of the road, down a hill, and crashed. In Holland. True story. 3) I have never been Baptized. In clean or dirty water. But that's probably because I am Jewish and I am pretty sure we don't believe in Baptisms. 4) I have been to Arizona. Just not Tucson. 

Still - I do love that song.

Anyways. Are you living my life Toby? Have you taken up residence in my soul because HOLY CRAP YOU APPARENTLY GET ME.

It was bad enough when I admitted to liking Nickelback because apparently Nickelback is the biggest joke to come out of Canada, like, EVER and now...now this.

I honestly don't know what to do.

I am some cross between mortified and horrified. Either way. I have to go now.  I'll be back later when I can look myself in the mirror.