When I am not sucking down chicken wings and ogling cocktail waitresses with The Boys, I am hanging with My Girls and we're probably braiding each other's hair and having tickle fights in our delicate and lacy underthings. Ok. Not really. But since most men seem to think that's what women do when left alone and to our own devices, I didn't want to spoil the fantasy.

I will say this about My Girls: they are hardly sugar and spice and everything nice. They drink. They swear. They work hard. They mother. They write. They juggle. They occasionally struggle. They are tough. Basically, except for the whole motherhood thing, they're Just. Like. Me. And I wouldn't take 'em any other way.

LILSAEJ

Don't ask how Lilsaej (pronounced LIL-SAY-JAY) and I met. It's really not a good story. Ok. Fine. I knew her boyfriend Bobo because we used to be barflies at the same local pub. Then he started dating Lilsaej and she and I would hang out on occasion, but it wasn't until last year's Super Bowl party that I discovered just how awesome she truly was and OMG I might have a human twin. Except she's blonde. And she's from the South so she's a whole lot sweeter than I am. Here's what Lilsaej and I have in common: a love of NASCAR, a love of Duke basketball, we both drink inordinate quantities of Coke Zero Cherry, we both can drink inordinate quantities of Michelob Ultra, we're both recovering carbophobes, we order the exact same thing when we go to lunch at the local cafe, we could both possibly be described as shopaholics and we're both wickedly funny. Ok - I'm not that funny but she is fiercely funny. She is Trouble 1 to my Trouble 2. Or vice-versa. I always forget. The point is: stick us in a room/in a car/in a mall/in a field outside of a race track with 2 coolers full of beer and we're likely to get into trouble. But only the good kind.

HARMZIE

Harmzie is the type of woman to psychoanalyze you early on a Saturday morning via Twitter DM. That's how twisted she is. I am the type of person to allow myself to be psychoanalyzed early on a Saturday morning via Twitter DM. That's how twisted I am. And that's probably why we're friends. Also? Since she's an enginerd she puts awesome graphs on her blog and has promised me an awesome graph for my blog just as soon as she can come up with something to plot. Also? She likes Kahlua and bacon. Also? She's fucking funny as Hell. My only complaint is that she doesn't post enough. But that's probably because she's too busy drunk Tweeting.

MODERN MATRIARCH

Nenette loves Grease 2 and that's enough. Seriously. There are a lot of reasons why I don't like people. And there are plenty of people I choose not to be friends with. But if you ever want to get on my good side and become an insta-BFF (just add red wine and stir), then tell me that you love Grease 2 almost as much I do. Tell me that you know the lyrics to every song and the moves to every poorly edited dance sequence. Ok. So there's plenty more to Nen. Like her Freebie lists. And her teaching me about critical things like Tits lists and 100 Things. But mainly it's because she loves Grease 2 almost as much as I do. And the fact that she's totally hot. Did you know she used to teach hula?

So you may be wondering why there are only photos of me and Lilsaej. What about the rest of the girls? Oddly enough, I have never actually met Harmzie or Modern Matriarch or Nen. Nor have I spoken to them on the phone. Most of our conversations have been held on Twitter supplemented with the occasional email (when more than 140 characters is required) or via blog comments (you can learn so much about someone by who's on their freebie list). And yet, when I went through a difficult transition last year, these were the women who managed to help me through in ways that IRL friends couldn't. (Did you know that girls? If not...you totally did.) Score one for the Internets.

Anyways, I am happy to say that the whole no picture thing is about to be rectified because Holy Hell y'all in a few weeks I will be in Chicago with 3 of my 4 girls (we won't discuss Nen's absence. No. We. Won't.) where we will drink take advantage of all of the wonderful cultural institutions that Chicago has to offer, get tattoos enjoy the city's history, and drink some more spend lots of quality time together discussing literature, politics and changing social mores. Also? We'll try not to freeze our tits off. Also? We'll probably totally strip down and have a tickle fight.