Last week I was in a seriously funk-kay mood that I could just not snap out of. I don't know if it was the holidays or the severe lack of sunlight or the frigid weather or WHAT but I was all: I am so fucking over it all and oh yeah I'd like to crawl under the covers and not emerge until April kaithankxbye. Only I can't hide in my bed for the next 3 months so I did the next best thing: I listened to La Cage Aux Folles on my iPod.

Half of you are probably thinking: La Cage Aux Folles - WTF Rougie? While the other half of you are probably thinking: La Cage Aux Folles - WTH Rougie? (because it's just not in your pure, golden hearts to drop an F-bomb). La Cage is a Broadway musical about 2 gay lovers on the French Riviera who run a nightclub and cabaret act featuring (gasp) drag queens. One day their straight son comes home and announces he's going to marry a girl from an uber conservative family and could they please cover up the whole gay/nightclub/cabaret/drag queen business because his FIL-to be is basically a giant political wanker who will put the kibosh on the wedding if he finds out where Straight Boy really comes from. You might also know this as The Bird Cage starring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane. And while Birdcage was all kinds of fabulous and funny, it does not have music and I totally require a soundtrack for my life.

So anyways, after feeling all down-in-the-dumps, maybe-I-have-a-case-of-the-Mean-Reds (only I have no Tiffany's to retreat to...le sigh), and oh yeah: bite me Seasonal Affectation Disorder, I turned to La Cage to soothe my tortured soul. There are 2 songs in particular that lift me up no matter how blue I am.  The first is "A Little More Mascara" which Albin (the over the top drag queen played by Nathan Lane in the film) sings early in the first act. Basically he's all bummed out, and when he feels all bummed out, he hustles out his highest drag slaps on some make-up, fake boobs, a sparkly evening gown, heels, a boa and BAM!!! He's all: The World is Fabulous. And I have to say, I am inclined to agree (though I don't don drag have fake boobs). Seriously y'all. There is nothing quite like getting dressed...or overdressed...and putting on a snazzers dress and gorgeous heels and going for full maquilliage and a spritz of perfume and jewels to make a girl forget her woes and feel, if for but a brief moment, utterly fabulous. 

The second song comes at the end of the first act when Straight Boy tells Albin that he cannot attend dinner with the future wanker in-laws: either in drag or no drag. And Albin is stung (who wouldn't be) and he sings this powerful ballad I Am What I Am which is basically a giant: Fuck You World! I know who I am and I am comfortable in my own skin and YOU - you're the one with problems because you can't be honest about who you are and where you come from. You go girl! (Actually, Gloria Gaynor apparently released a version of this song if you want a clue as to the extreme levels of You Go Girl! captured in these lyrics.)

So basically for 2 or 3 days all I belted out from the top of my lungs while driving in my car and/or sitting around my house all I listened to on my iPod were those 2 songs on repeat (with a dash of Beyonce every once in a while to keep my sassypants levels up). And after listening to a drag queen sing about maribou and ankle straps and Shalimar and mascara and tiaras and I bang my own drum and I deal my own deck and rhinestones and everything's fabulous and sparkledust and I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses...well...I got INSPIRED. Inspired to be FAB-U-LOUS. So I dusted off one of my tiaras (I have 3), and put it on. Then I announced on Facebook that I was going to wear a tiara for the rest of the day. BAM! Fabulous! Of course, I wasn't planning on actually leaving the house, but when The Kaiser sent me a text and asked me if I wanted to meet him at the Irish Pub for a few pints, I didn't even hesitate. Twenty minutes later I strolled into that pub in my holey leggings, boots, giant shades and of course, my tiara, because I am what I am and what I am is the type of girl to wear a tiara. Always.