Chez Rougie

I spent the weekend with my parents and my 4.5yo nephew, Monkeyfish, and it was all kinds of awesome.

• We baked cookies
• We played Lotto (because he's too old for Candyland and Chutes & Ladders BREAK MY HEART NOW WHY DON'T YOU KID)
• We blew bubbles
• We played trains
• I made him French toast with fresh strawberry syrup for breakfast
• We read stories (OMG the stories!)
• We danced to the Blacked Eyed Peas (which, for the record, my nephew knows all of the lyrics to I Gotta Feeling)
• We swam
• We played bus
• We went to the county fair and rode every ride in Kiddieland at least twice
• We ate hot dogs and fries
• We played Uncle Wiggly
• We went to the playground and went down the slide
• We shared ice cream (chocolate vanilla swirl with rainbow sprinkles to be specific)
• We watched Bob the Builder*
• We went on a picnic
• We playyed tag
• We laughed
• We hugged. Alot.

Like I said - the weekend was awesome.  For 2 days I got to be Aunt Rougie. For 2 days I was at Monkeyfish's beck and call:

"Aunt Rougie, let's play trains."

"Aunt Rougie, can you read me a story?"

"Aunt Rougie, can you sit in the back with me or do you have to sit up front?"

"Aunt Rougie, will you go on this ride with me?"

And you know what? I loved every minute it which made me think that maybe I might be cut out for motherhood after all. But until then, I am very content being the world's best aunt to the world's cutest little boy:

PS Do you all know about The Clap thing?  After lunch on the first day I helped put Monkeyfish into his carseat. I was all kinds of proud for getting him in and buckled properly thinking to myself, this parenting thing ain't so hard and I shut the door to the car when my parents both shout in unison: THE CLAP. YOU DIDN'T ASK HIM TO CLAP. And I'm all, What the hell? So yeah. As it turns out, in an effort to avoid getting nursery school sized fingers caught in very large car doors you are supposed to have the child clap to ensure that hands and door are nowhere near each other.  Whoops.

PPS To those of you with kids, I don't know how you do it day in and day out.  Two days of Monkeyfish (with a lot of help from mom and dad) and I was exhausted.  So gold stars plus lots of caffeine, chocolate and booze to all of you parents out there. You deserve it! 

* So yeah - those of you with the children? How do you not want to stab yourself in the cerebral cortex when watching children's programming? I am scared to think of what might happen if I had to sit through Yo Gabba Gabba....

I work in a male-dominated industry however I have never subscribed to the theory that I have to dress like a man in order to be taken seriously. I prefer dresses to pants, sweaters to jackets, and I am not afraid to wear color. In fact, if you look at my closet the pinks and the greens and the blues and the prints definitely outnumber the blacks and the grays. 

Fortunately for me, we live in an age of business casual which means I can wear a brightly colored shift dress, a cardigan and open toe heels (no pantyhose) and still be dressed appropriately. And for the last several years that's exactly what I have done without any reprecussion or consequence.

However the nature of my job is changing and it's been suggested that despite the fact that I always look stylish, perhaps I want to re-evaluate my work wardrobe. I want to clarify that this suggestion was made in the absolute nicest way possible and that I did not take offense so you shouldn't either.  It's not about being well-put together. We're all agreed that I have that down. But I am well-put together in a fun-loving, semi-casual kind of way (or sometimes a Mad Men kind of way), and I need to add a drop of elegance and a dash of tailoring to my wardrobe. 

So Saturday morning I spent several hours shopping on-line looking for work clothes that were more conservative and elegant than I am used to without being stuffy because let's face it: I am never going to be a boxy, black pants suit kind of girl (and for the record, no one is asking me to). Here's what I came up with:

The nice thing about J. Crew is that their color palette is fairly neutral so I wasn't distracted by the chance to get this dress in, say, Kelly green.  I opted for classic black figuring that I could always jazz it up with some playful accessories.

Since I finally found the perfect navy Kate Spade Mary Janes a few years ago, I am all about the navy in my wardrobe and what could be more classic than navy pinstripes?

I love this camel shimmer skirt although I don't know how shimmery it actually is which means it may get returned because sparkly is not exactly conservative. However I am hoping that it's a subtle sheen because the cut is beautiful and I think it would look darling with a black turtleneck sweater, black tights and a skinny belt.

This is one of those dresses I wasn't sure about.  It certainly looks conservative in terms of the dark colors and the cut, but the bow is on the playful side.  Then again, I am on the playful side and my personality is always going to shine through so this dress might in fact be the perfect combination.

This dress also came in red. I wanted to order it in red. But instinct told me that this dress in red was sexy while this dress in navy might be passable for work.  (See also: I have the world's most perfect navy Kate Spade Mary Janes)

I called it a day after these 5 purchases (although there were 2 dresses at Ann Taylor I liked as well as a dress/jacket combo ON SALE at Trina Turk) because it wasn't exactly shopping for $39.99 dresses at Target.  But I look at it as an investment: an investment in my career which frankly, is going beyond well. In fact, I have never been more confident in my potential for true professional success. And now I will be appropriately dressed for success as well.   

Usually I sit on the sidelines.  Usually I don't get involved.  I don't know why because I know women who have been affected. I should want to contribute. I should want to help. I should want to make a difference.

So this year I am. This year I join the more than 1.3 million who participate worldwide and on October 2nd I will lace up my Mizunos and do my part. This year I will race for the cure.

Worldwide, breast cancer is the most common cancer in women, after skin cancer, representing 16% of all female cancers. The rate is more than twice that of colorectal cancer and cervical cancer and about three times that of lung cancer. Mortality worldwide is 25% greater than that of lung cancer in women, and in 2004, breast cancer caused 519,000 deaths worldwide (7% of cancer deaths; almost 1% of all deaths).

With statistics like these, you probably know someone who has been affected.  Maybe a relative. Maybe a friend. Perhaps someone you work with. I know several woman who have fought this disease, and I feel fortunate to say that their stories have happy endings.  They have won their battles - although there are no guarantees that there won't be more rounds fought in the future.

Which is why I am racing for the cure.

I am racing for my Fairy Godmother because my world doesn't make sense if she's not in it.

I am racing for Ciel because she still has more adventures to live and more stories to tell.

I am racing for women I've never met who have children to raise and differences to make and lives to lead and wonderful things still to create.

I am racing for those who weren't so fortunate. I am racing so that others don't have to bear the same pain.

I am racing for them and I am racing for me because I am at a risk. As a non-child-bearing woman over the age of 35 with a family history of ovarian cancer, my odds of contracting the disease increase.

I have 2 goals for my participation in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure:

1. I have set a personal fundraising goal of $750 and I am asking friends, family, & coworkers to support me in my efforts.  So far I have been touched by their generosity and I feel hopeful about meeting my goal.
2. Once upon a time I was a runner (to the tune of finishing a half-marathon in 1:59:48). And then I stopped running.  Well when I was registering for the Race for the Cure, they asked me if I wanted to walk or run in the competitive 5K and me being me i.e. ultra competitive, I decided to go for the 5K which means I am back in training.  On Saturday I ran 3.1 miles on the treadmill and finished in 26:48 (and nearly coughed up a lung in the process). I have approximately 40 days to shave almost 2 minutes off my time because my goal is to finish in 25 minutes or under.  It's an ambitious goal but everytime I log into my participant center and see another donation, I am that much more motivated to get my ass to the gym and hop on the treadmill.    

It's about time I stopped sitting on the sidelines, and I am proud to be participating and doing my part to make a difference. 

PS If you would like to support my fundraising efforts email me and I can give you instructions.   

Electricity freaks me out (it probably has something to do with my totally unnatural fear of spontaneous combustion) so whenever there is any electrical work being done at my house, my already high levels of neuroses tend to climb even higher. 

The work in question was cosmetic: simply replace several old, dark brown outlets and light switches with new ones that are shiny and white.  This is not a complicated process and truth be told, it doesn't actually require an electrician - just someone with a working knowledge of electricity. Fortunately for me The Angel's son, D, has more than a working knowledge of electricity (although he is not technically an electrician) and when I moved in a year ago he was kind enough to swap out about half of the ugly brown outlets and switches.  This was basically the second half and oh gee the timing couldn't be better since it's the half that's recently been redone.

Because no one has ever taken the time to label the breakers and indicate which areas of the house they are connected to, D and I had to start randomly flipping switches in order to power down the right rooms.  Flipped the first switch off. Nothing happened.  Flipped it back on.  Flipped the second switch off. Nothing happened. Flipped it back on.  Flipped the third switch off. Nothing happened. Flipped it back on. AND THEN HALF OF MY HOUSE WENT DARK. Yes flipping the switch off? Nothing. Flipping it back on? Every single light went black, every single ceiling fan stopped spinning and OMG THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO WORK. And what's worse, no amount of switch flipping seemed to make things right.

Cue panic attack and massive melt down.

D assured me he could figure it out and while I tried to stay calm, he took out his drill and got to work on the breaker box and then he made a call and I paced around the house frantically because OMG nothing was working and then there was some tinkering and then the alarm powered off and an outlet in the living room stopped working but another outlet was still on and OMG the fridge isn't getting power and how did one flip of the switch knock out lights in 4 different rooms and who the fuck wires a house like this and OMG can we get it fixed and fuck me because I'll never find an electrician on a Sunday and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY GIVE ME XANAX AND POWER NOW. 

Seriously? I brought neurotic to a whole other level.

Also? I noticed how dirty my ceiling fans are.  When they are constantly whirring you can't see the shit that builds up on the blades but when they are at a dead stop the six inches of dirt and hair that's accumulated becomes painfully obvious. So I set about cleaning all of my ceiling fans which proved to be a worthwhile distraction because finally, finally, finally D did something and suddenly lights were on and fans were spinning and I breathed a giant sigh of relief.

Of course I also asked about 100 questions - like why did this happen and will it happen again and what do I do to fix it, etc. - and D gave me half of an explanation which is basically that this house is a fossil and my breakers are fossils and something about pushing them in in to jiggle something and I then I sighed because really  - this is so not my thing. 

It took a little longer than expected but eventually we got 2 light switches and 3 outlets swapped out and in between I had to run to Lowe's because did you know that in any room where there is water like a kitchen or a bathroom you're really supposed to have the grounded outlets that have the test and reset buttons and I just had plain outlets (because that's what was originally installed) and those really weren't up to code so yeah - I had to go to Lowe's and spend $30 on new outlets - thirty freaking dollars - which hello? RIDICULOUS. Especially because as it turns out 2 of the 3 outlets don't even have ground wires - whatever that means.

But it's one more home improvement project checked off the home improvement to do list. Next up? Dealing with my ceiling which will be epic on account of the fact that my house is made of plaster and when plaster has been sitting around for a really long time it starts to crack. Either that or fixing my ghetto screen.

I am a plugged in kind of gal - to the point that I rank Internet access up there with water and oxygen as far as things required to survive. Those who know me know that my Blackberry is frequently in my hand because I am either Tweeting, texting, emailing, or IM'ing someone/something. If I am not doing any of those, I am probably updating my Facebook status.

When I want to Maine earlier in the summer, I assumed I would be without Internet or cell service, and I mentally wrapped my head around what it would be like to be off-grid for 4 whole days.  I decided that I could live with it and that it was a good exercise.  As it turned out, I had 4 full bars in the Middle of Nowhere, ME and so I didn't have to go off-grid after all. 

However, last week, we had a work retreat up in the mountains and guess what? It's pretty much a cell-free zone.  This wasn't exactly a shock because it was the same place we went last year and so I knew from experience that there was exactly one 4-inch spot on the side porch where you could stand to get half a bar and that's about it.

Last year, this freaked me out to no end because OMG - what am I missing on Twitter and Facebook? How can I read or write blog posts?  What if I need to text someone? ACK! It was panic and chaos and I spent the first day and a half both hyperventilating and trying to position my Blackberry so that it would catch whatever stray signals were floating around.

This year? I could have cared less.  I pretty much plunked my phone in my room for a few days and forgot about it.  And guess what? I lived to tell the tale.  I even (gasp) enjoyed being disconnected for a few days. I'm not saying I am retiring my Blackberry any time soon, but every once and a while it's good to unplug.

What about you? Are you an Internet junkie? Or can you go off-grid?

I am, in real life, a fairly classy girl. I say please and thank you. I say "yes ma'am" to the woman at the grocery store when she asks me if I found everything I was looking for (even if I didn't). I believe in handwritten thank you notes and hostess gifts. My mama done raised me right.

Except for the part where my therapist politely informed me after our last session that I had, on several occasions, flashed her, and that next time I was sitting on a sofa at a meeting perhaps I ought to keep my legs crossed at the ankles. Ahem.

And then I died.  

Ask and ye shall receive. Such is the power of the Internet. Last week I asked y'all to help me come up with a new theme song for my life and the responses were overwhelming.  Seriously. I thought that my new song would be obvious. That when I saw it, it would just jump out at me and grab me. But no. Y'all are just too awesome. How am I supposed to choose from these: 

• Sexy Bitch, David Guetta: AndreAnna
• I'm Coming Out, Diana Ross: Nenette
• I'm Free, The Soup Dragons: Burgh Baby
• Survivor, Destiny's Child: The News Producer (even though I had previously ruled it out)
• I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor: The News Producer
• Get The Party Started, P!nk: Harmzie
• Memories, David Guetta: Harmzie
• Let It Rock, Kevin Rudolf & Lil Wayne: Cass
• Fresh Feeling, The Eels: The Wine Diva
• I Must Be in a Good Place Now, Vetiver: The Wine Diva
• Ten Feet of Snow, The Action Design: Alicat
• On The Road Again, Willie Nelson: Miss Mary
• Put Your Records On, Corinne Bailey Ray: Madame Queen
• I Gotta Feeling, Black Eyed Peas: Suzy Voices
• I Told You I Was Freekie, Flight of the Conchords: Suzy Voices
• I've Still Got My Health, Better Midler: Suzy Voices
• Indestructible, Disturbed: Suzy Voices
• Sin Wagon, Dixie Chicks: Suzy Voices
• The Warrior, Patty Smyth: Suzy Voices
• What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong: Suzy Voices
• Woman, Wolfmother: Suzy Voices
• I Just Haven't Met You Yet, Michael Buble: The Realtor
• Bootilicious, Destiny's Child: The Redneck Princess
• New Attitude, The Pointer Sisters: The Redneck Princess
• I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor: Dad
• Fighter, Christina Aguilera: Rougie

They all mean something special to me in their own way and they all inspire me in their own way. Obviously I can't choose. So instead of a theme song for 35, I have an entire theme mix. What could be better?

And as much as I'd love to send you all cookies, that's going to be a bit of a challenge until someone decides to bankroll me in the cookie business. So I picked a winner the old-fashioned way: I put everyone's name in a hat and drew one. The winner? Harmzie. Seriously. I swear she wins every contest I run which may make you think that the system is rigged. Trust me - it's not. Because shipping shit to Canada is a giant pain in the ass.

One of the things I've struggled with in the last year is how to be alone.  For over 12 years I shared a life and a home with another human being so being alone was not something I had to worry about. But now I am single. There is no one else when I come home but Psycho Kitty.  There are no built-in safety nets for holidays and long weekends and birthdays. There is just me.

I have learned in the last year that being alone is ok.  In fact, I have worked very hard and continue to work hard to learn how to be alone and how to embrace it.  That doesn't mean that at times I don't feel lonely. In fact, quite the contrary.  I feel lonely more than I'd care to admit. But even people coupled off with families feel lonely sometimes. It's just part of life. 

This video appeared on The Bloggess over 2 weeks ago. I don't always click on every link she has in her "This week on shit-I-didn't-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it's-kind-of-awesome" section, but the title of this caught my eye and The Bloggess does not lie.  This video is all kinds of awesome. ALL KINDS.

In case you don't feel like you have 4 minutes and 35 seconds to spare, let me share with you my two favorite quotes:

"Lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it."

"If you're happy in the head then solitude is blessed and alone is ok."

Yes. Alone is ok.  Very ok.  

I started out the evening in a princess party dress and tiara because as we say Chez Rougie, a tiara is not just an accessory, it's a way of life.

The spread minus the mac & very expensive cheese (of which there is still a large quantity left sitting in my fridge if anyone is hungry.)

My boys Billy Ray Valentine and The History Professor.

The Banker and The Architect who drove all the way from The Big City to Smalltown, USA to help me celebrate. I love them for that.

The Fire Chief and The Angel.

Miss Mary, The Priest and me. And yes -  I invite clergy to all of my parties.

Me and The Artist, another IRL friend who I met through the Internet. Remind me to thank Al Gore for all the awesome people he's brought into my life.

The Redneck Princess and Pixie. These be my girls, yo.

Red and The History Prof. Red brought me a 5lb. box of wine as a birthday gift. It's like he knows me or something.

T1 and T2 aka me and Lilsaej.  There are no words for how much I love this girl.

Lilsaej and Bobo, her main squeeze. 

Me and Sumo. As you can see, he's a total teddy bear.

Me with Lilsaej and The Reporter. And notice the dress? Because I totally had a Diana Ross wardrobe change halfway through.  The tiara came off and the dancing shoes came on.

The Girl Scout and Mr. Festivus who shall henceforth be known as bestower of AWESOME gifts in Mason jars. 

Another one of me and Miss Mary. Watching a class act like Miss Mary partake of the Mason jar awesome was the highlight of my night.

Everyone usually has a good time at my parties.  This one was no different.

It was a FABULOUS birthday, a WONDERFUL week, an AWESOME party.  I have a feeling 35 is going to be a FABULOUSLY WONDERFULY AWESOME year. Thanks to all who have made it so special so far.